In which the blogger makes a Wayne's World reference.

I've started a secret project. It's the first time I've designed a sweater on my own, and it looks like this: I think that sweater patterns and design notes should be a bit more detailed than this. I have a terrible feeling that Eunny or Stefanie Japel or Grumperina (or any one of the million other brilliant designers whose names escape me at the moment) is going to see this and just fall over laughing. Hi ladies! Yes, I think it's hysterical, too! No, I don't really think this will work, either. I've started work on the Jamesey (again). I had to frog everything I had knit before (a whole 2 inches! Alas!) because I finally did a test swatch, washed it, blasted it in the dryer on high, and discovered that this yarn does not shrink. Apparently the Jo Sharp "Soho Summer" cotton-acrylic blend doesn't shrink in the wash, or my dryer just has a really weak high setting. The pattern takes the shrinkage into account, so now I'm knitting it 15% shorter and praying that the entire sweater -- through some quirk of fiber physics -- doesn't inexplicably shrink after it's sewn together or worse, after it goes to its recipient. (The Jamesey looks smashing against my collection of overdue library books.) I was hesitant to start again because I got a little worried about the color. It's a lovely, dusty, olive green, but I've never seen my brother (the sweater's future wearer) wear this color. So, I broke down, ruined any element of surprise that I had (assuming he doesn't read this), and asked him. Our conversation on AIM went something like this: Me: oh, so, let me ask you Me: hypothetically Me: if one were to make you a knitted gift Me: and one were to make that gift out of some olive green yarn Me: would you hate the color? Brother: No Brother: Hypothetically I would wear it every day Game on!

Hockey socks

I finished my socks. Lace Ankle Socks from Homespun Handknit I’ve been referring to them as my Hockey Socks, since a good deal of the work on the second one was done while watching the last three games of the Stanley Cup. It took me ages because I kept screwing up whenever Edmonton scored, and they did that a lot. Well, until Game 7. I’m still upset. They’re a bit loose around the ankles (the socks, not the Oilers – although I did wonder about their ankles during the first period of Monday’s game), but I’m not sure whether this is because I have freakishly narrow ankles and heels or whether it’s some fault in the pattern, yarn, my gauge, etc. Probably a bit of both. I really like them, except for the ankle bagginess. Well, and I don’t like the toes. I’m not wild about the heels, either. Ok, I guess I’m not nuts about the way these turned out and I really just like socks in general. I’m very fond of knitting socks. The way they keep my feet warm, the clever way the heel turns, the satisfaction of knowing the second sock tedium will not triumph over your desire to wear the second sock, etc. I hereby resolve to knit different heels and toes from now on. This is a big deal for a girl who used to cry every time she re-arranged her bedroom as a child, and isn’t very comfortable with change as an adult. It was a moment of grim determination when I told myself that I’d try a toe-up sock. Or a sewn bind-off. Imagine the possibilities! Imagine the danger! What if I don’t like it? Gasp. Horror! We've been getting frequent thunderstorms for the past few days, so the light has been awful for photographing lace. I broke down and took the above photo because I wasn't going to let the weather stop me from showing off my latest FO. This was the scene yesterday afternoon around 3:00: I usually don't mind thunderstorms -- in fact, I'd say I love them. But thunderstorms in Ohio are an entirely different animal from those on the Eastern Shore of Maryland (where I grew up). Tornadoes happen here! You know, those large, destructive things that spring up in the blink of an eye and can kill you? Yeah, we get those. It makes me nervous enough to not enjoy the thunderstorms as much as I used to. This is what it looks like outside of my living room right now: I'll be in the basement with the cat if anyone needs me.

I'm still here.

Just working intently on some papers. And by "intently" I mean mostly banging my head on the keyboard and cursing at myself. I came across this in my reading and wanted to share. From Grettir's Saga (Fox and Pálsson, trans): "The men at Glaumbæ were very impressed to see you going hoodless in this bad weather," said Glaum. "they wondered whether you were any braver for being indifferent to the cold. There were two farmer's sons there, very strong men, and the shepherd asked them to come with him to the sheep, but they couldn't hardly put on enough clothes against the cold." Grettir said, "I noticed a young man in the doorway pulling on his mittens, and another one going from the cowshed to the dungheap, and neither of them would frighten me." There are two lessons here: 1) Real men do not need clothes to keep warm. 2) It is impossible to look intimidating when pulling on mittens.

The facts.

I've seen some other bloggers write up those "100 Interesting Things About Me" lists, and I'm always surprised and a bit jealous that they actually get to #100. I've been working on my own list off and on for a month now, and I could only get to #56. So, because I've got no knitting news to post today, here it is: 56 Interesting Things About Me (with pictures!) 1. I'm a vegetarian. 2. I like to think I'’m organized, but I'm really not. I'’m forever making lists and promptly losing them. 3. The ball of my foot is very wide, but my heel is extremely narrow. This means I don't buy shoes very often. 4. I'’ve been to Japan a few times (Kobe, Osaka, Nishinomiya, Kyoto -- that area). Nice place, but I wouldn'’t want to live there. 5. My favorite color is blue. 6. I can read Old Icelandic. 7. When we were little, my sister and I used to wish that we were twins. 8. I'm the only member of my immediate family without any tattoos. This one is my brother's, who is the most recent convert to the ink. 9. I hate doing dishes. 10. I was raised Catholic, but have since strayed from the flock. 11. I love Indian food. 12. I don't like babies and children; although I have met a few individuals that I make exceptions for. 13. My wardrobe is 95% blue and black. 14. My favorite bands right now are The Dead Milkmen, Polysics, The Misfits, and Wire. 15. I have knobby knees. 16. I love science fiction: movies, fiction, television, etc. I've got a small pile of sci-fi paperbacks that I plan to read in my "“free time". 17. I'm forever saying sarcastic things that are not taken as sarcastic by whomever I'm talking to. 18. I met The Boyfriend in a Wildlife Conservation course at college. 19. I never wear shorts. See #15. 20. I am terrified of centipedes. I hope they don'’t run rampant in Tennessee. 21. I procrastinate. 22. I don't wear high heels often because The Boyfriend and I are the same height (short). 23. After years of resisting, I've finally admitted that I'm a morning person. I know, I hate me, too. 24. I define morning as after 8:00. I'’m not completely insane. 25. I was in an abusive relationship for two years while in high school. 26. I have a social anxiety disorder and depression. 27. I think #25 and #26 are related. 28. I keep trying orange juice, hoping that someday I'll like it. I still hate it. 29. I wanted to be a professional ballet dancer for most of my life. 30. I a’m a natural blonde. 31. I have read all of Moby Dick. I'’d advise against it. 32. I hate the following fashion items: Uggs, ponchos, capri pants, and boys in pants three sizes too big. 33. I love the following fashion items: boot cut jeans, mary janes, glasses, cardigans, and skinny hipster boys in pants three sizes too small. 34. I'’m horrible with names. This is not a good trait in a scholar/researcher who should always know whose work she'’s reading. 35. I cannot make an omelet without overcooking or burning it. 36. I have high blood pressure and my doctor has no idea why. 37. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a marine biologist. 38. My first and only hospital visit happened when I was 2 years old; I ran smack into a low shelf in my (parents'’) LYS. Incidentally, it was called the Darn Yarn Shop, and I've yet to hear a yarn shop name that I like more. 39. I'm scared of horses. 40. I'm politically and socially liberal. 41. But grew up in a conservative Southern-ish small town. 42. I played the flute and piccolo in high school band. I still play from time to time, but I'm always frustrated by how awful I am now compared to how good I used to be. 43. I'm starting a PhD degree in August, studying Anglo-Saxon/Old English literature. 44. I used to enjoy building "“robots" by taking apart old electronics and gluing/taping the circuitry into cardboard boxes with robots drawn on them. This was when I was 8 or 9, not last week (although it still sounds like fun). 45. In 3rd grade, I was obsessed with the paranormal and monsters (Bigfoot, Nessie, Jersey Devil, that sort of thing). I started a Monster Hunters Club with my friends. 46. My feet? Always cold. 47. I don't get people who "“forget" to eat or sleep. My body shuts down if I don't do both of these things. 48. I hate writing papers for classes. There. I said it. I hate jumping through the right hoops and pretending to be interested in a topic just to get a grade on an artificially truncated piece of research. 49. I'm a bitter old cow. 50. I have an intense anxiety toward talking on the phone. I'd do all my communicating through email and IM if I could. 51. I buy 90% of my clothes from thrift stores. The last time I bought new clothes was at Christmas, when I had exchanges to make and gift certificates to use. 52. I'’m really very boring. 53. I'm afraid of the ocean. (Rehoboth Beach, Delaware in January) 54. I drive a minivan named Bessie. 55. I was really scrawny as a kid. My best friend nicknamed me Shrimpy. 56. I love tea.

An exception to the rule.

Ok, so, first of all let me confess that I don't usually do this. I like to surprise people with handknit gifts and watch their reactions (usually good, but sometimes the awkward: "Oh. It's...it's a...knit thing."). This time, however, I'm going to let the recipient know about the gift because a)I'm excited about it; and b) she's moving soon and I don't want to send it now and give her one more thing to haul across the pond. So, without further explanation (and in my best Ralph Edwards impression)... Miss Prism! This is your scarf! The specifics: Pattern (in case you don't know by now): Alice Bell's Rosalind from the May Magknits Yarn: Jaeger Matchmaker Merino DK in Mid-Navy and Granite. Needles: straight bamboo size 3 I love the way this turned out (I hope the recipient does, too). The pattern is so clever, and I like to think that this is because Alice is a clever girl and not necessarily because illusion patterns by nature are so neatly put together. I'll definitely be playing around with illusion patterns in the future, especially since they make for great tv/movie knitting, and I'm far behind on my movies-about-English-literature-that-I-should-have-seen-by-now viewing. I had never made tassels before, so these look a little scrappy, but I'm pleased with them. I didn't think I'd add any when I started, so I didn't measure out the yarn first, which is why there are only two on each end. But I like it that way. The two tassels make me think of the personified and sassy rug from Disney's Aladdin. This is clearly a sassy scientist scarf. Oh, and speaking of sassy -- I got my haircut yesterday. I think I have Adult Hair for the first time in my life. I've always had long hair (in junior high it was down to the small of my back), and I've always wanted to get it chopped short, but have always then wussed out. I didn't get it cut short, exactly, but it's the shortest it's ever been. I keep swishing my head around to hear the hair moving around my ears and keep checking my head out in store windows. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but who cares when I've got sassy hair? Hair* + scarf = rockin'. *Although keep in mind that it looked much better when I left the hairdresser's yesterday. I don't own any of the fancy-schmancy goo she put on it and it now looks a little limp. I might have to invest in some goo.

A Report. By Specs, age 23.

The Spring quarter is over and I'm chugging through my students' final papers, grading them and tallying up their final grades. It's a numbing task. I fluctuate wildly between being impressed by what these students have produced after a ten week boot camp in cultural analysis, and hanging my head and renouncing any belief in my own ability to teach. I'm doing the latter at the moment. Here are some numbers for you: Papers about women in advertising: 3 Percentage of those which come to the conclusion that women are being exploited by men: 100% Papers about Christianity: 1 Papers with obvious Republican/Conservative bias: 4 Papers with obvious Democrat/Liberal bias: 1 Papers that claims FOX news is a "respectable" source: 1 Percentage of papers that still got A's because I'm grading easy after the exam took up all of my teaching-prep time: 75% But there are bright spots. I worked intensely with a couple of students who were very interested in their topics (and their grades), and their papers have turned out wonderfully. Working one-on-one (or one-to-one, as we're supposed to say -- it's more PC) with students is absolutely the most rewarding thing I do, and I wish more of them would take me seriously when I tell them to come see me with questions and problems. One of my ESL (English as a Second Language) students left me a note on the last page of her paper. It's things like that that make my hardened, bitter heart melt just a little, and help me keep believing that teaching might be a good way to spend the rest of my life.* *As long as I'm not teaching Freshman English Composition. I can only take so much.

In which one bad thing and many good things happen

Bad news. I have to start over on my Jamesey, despite having a good four inches done on the body. My gauge is off, the swatch didn't shrink like I expected, and I really, really hate the needles I'm using. All in all, not a good way to start a project that I hope will be treasured by a family member for years to come. The needles are Bryspun circulars (29 inch, size 4)and they've got that bump just before the needle that makes me hate working on circs. Don't buy these needles unless you really enjoy yanking your yarn over that ridge every time you shift the stitches around. See that bump? I hate that bump. But nice things are happening, too. I've been knitting constantly on the Rosalind. (I don't know why -- the intended recipient can't wear it until the Fall anyway. I just can't stand having unfinished things lurking around the apartment. Quirks like this make me think that knitting might not be the best hobby for me.) Soon enough she'll be done and ready for blocking. I really want to be done soon; not because I'm impatient, but because I'm starting to wonder if The Boyfriend's sanity can hold when I'm frequently calling him over to see "how totally cool" the pattern is. Anyway, she's coming along nicely, and even Dmitri likes the pattern enough to temporarily be at peace with the yarn. And I've started the sister sock to this one. No exciting progress to show yet. I worked on it while waiting in my office for students to hand in their final papers. I give them a two-hour window to stop by and turn them in, which usually means that I've got 1 hour 45 minutes to myself before everyone breathlessly rushes in brandishing a freshly printed paper. No one seemed surprised to see me knitting, but one kid took a look at my yarn and said "You must be bored, huh?" If I were a few years older, I'd try a wisecrack about kids these days. Aside from knitting, I've had a wonderful day of living outside my means. We (well, I threw them in the basket) bought flowers at the farmer's market: And then I got a ridiculously sweet thing at Le Chatelaine, which I took a picture of just because it's so pretty. And also because it looks like a cat: So despite the fact that it's been cloudy all day, this has been a fantastic Saturday. Tonight: cleaning the place up in preparation for catsitting next week. If I don't post for a while, assume that I've been sitting in between Dmitri and Joe (the guestcat) for a week, mediating all exchanges and interaction.

Adjustments to Rosalind

Here is the written-out chart for Alice Bell's Rosalind with some corrections to the original pattern she posted on her blog (written by someone also named Sarah, who I'm reasonably sure is not me). Corrections are in bold. MC – main color CC – contrast color Row 1 – MC – knit Row 2 – MC, k4, p2, k18, p2, k4 Row 3 – CC – knit Row 4 – CC, p4, k2, p18, k2, p4 Rows 5-20 – Repeat rows 1-4 four times Row 21 – MC, knit Row 22 – MC - k4, p22, k4 Row 23 – CC, knit Row 24 – CC – p4, k22, p4 Row 25 – MC knit Row 26 – MC – k5, p 21, k4 Row 27 – CC – knit Row 28 – CC – p5, k21, p4 Row 29 – MC knit Row 30 – MC – k6, p2, k16, p2, k4 Row 31 – CC – knit Row 32 – CC – p6, k2, p16, k2, p4 Row 33 – MC – Knit Row 34 – MC – k7, p2, k15, p2, k4 Row 35 – CC – Knit Row 36 – CC – p7, k2, p15, k2, p4 Row 37 – MC – Knit Row 38 – MC – k7, p5, k12, p2, k4 Row 39 – CC – Knit Row 40 – CC – p7, k5, p12, k2, p4 Row 41 – MC – Knit Row 42 – MC – k8, p6, k10, p2, k4 Row 43 – CC – Knit Row 44 – CC – p8, k6, p10, k2, p4 Row 45 – MC – Knit Row 46 – MC – k11, p15, k4 Row 47 – CC – Knit Row 48 – CC – p11, k15, p4 Row 49 – MC – Knit Row 50 – MC – k12, p14, k4 Row 51 – CC – Knit Row 52 – CC – p12, k14, p4 Row 53 – MC – Knit Row 54 – MC – k13, p2, k9, p2, k4 Row 55 – CC – Knit Row 56 – CC – p13, k2, p9, k2, p4 Row 57 – MC – Knit Row 58 – MC – k13, p3, k8, p2, k4 Row 59 – CC – Knit Row 60 – CC – p13, k3, p8, k2, p4 Row 61 – MC – Knit Row 62 – MC – k14, p2, k7, p3, k4 Row 63 – CC – Knit Row 64 – CC – p14, k2, p7, k3, p4 Row 65 – MC – Knit Row 66 – MC – k15, p4,k2, p4, k5 Row 67 – CC – Knit Row 68 – CC – p15, k4, p2, k4, p5 Row 69 – MC – Knit Row 70 – MC – k16, p7, k7 Row 71 – CC – Knit Row 72 - CC – p16, k7, p7 Row 73 – MC – Knit Row 74 – MC – k17, p5, k8 Row 75 – CC – Knit Row 76 – CC – p17, k5, p8 Row 77 – MC – Knit Row 78 – MC – k17, p6, k7 Row 79 – CC – Knit Row 80 – CC – p17, k6, p7 Row 81 – MC – Knit Row 82 - MC – k15, p3, k3, p4, k5 Row 83 – CC - Knit Row 84 – CC – p15, k3, p3, k4, p5 Row 85 – MC – Knit Row 86 – MC – k15, p2, k6, p3, k4 Row 87 – CC – Knit Row 88 – CC – p15, k2, p6, k3, p4 Row 89 – MC – Knit Row 90 – MC – k14, p3, k7, p2, k4 Row 91 – CC – Knit Row 92 – CC – p14, k3, p7, k2, p4 Row 93 – MC – Knit Row 94 – MC – k13, p3, k8, p2, k4 Row 95 – CC – Knit Row 96 – CC – p13, k3, p8, k2, p4 Row 97 – MC – Knit Row 98 – MC – k12, p14,k4 Row 99 – CC – Knit Row 100 – CC – p12, k14, p4 Row 101 – MC – Knit Row 102 – MC – k9, p17, k4 Row 103 – CC – Knit Row 104 – CC – p9, k17, p4 Row 105 – MC – Knit Row 106 – MC – k7, p5, k12, p2, k4 Row 107 – CC – Knit Row 108 – CC – p7, k5, p12, k2, p4 Row 109 – MC – Knit Row 110 – MC – k6, p5, k13, p2, k4 Row 111 – CC – Knit Row 112 – CC – p6, k5, p13, k2, p4 Row 113– MC – Knit Row 114 – MC – k5, p3, k16, p2, k4 Row 115 – CC – Knit Row 116 – CC – p5, k3, p16, k2, p4 Row 117 – MC – Knit Row 118 – MC – k5, p2, k17, p2, k4 Row 119 – CC – Knit Row 120 – CC – p5, k2, p17, k2, p4 Row 121 – MC – Knit Row 122 – MC – k4, p2, k17, p3, k4 Row 123 – CC – Knit Row 124 – CC – p4, k2, p17, k3, p4 Row 125 – MC – Knit Row 126 – MC – k4, p22, k4 Row 127 – CC – Knit Row 128 – CC – p4, k22, p4 Row 129 – MC – Knit Row 130 – MC – k4, p22, k4 Row 131 – CC – Knit Row 132 – CC – p4, k22, p4 Row 133 – MC – Knit Row 134 – MC – k4, p3, k16, p3, k4 Row 135 – CC – Knit Row 136 – CC – p4, k3, p16, k3, p4 Row 137 – MC – Knit Row 138 – MC – k4, p2, k16, p3, k5 Row 139 – CC – Knit Row 140 – CC – p4, k2, p16, k3, p5 Row 141 – MC – Knit Row 142 – MC – k4, p2, k15, p3, k6 Row 143 – CC – Knit Row 144 – CC – p4, k2, p15, k3, p6 Row 145 – MC – Knit Row 146 – MC – k4, p2, k14, p3, k7 Row 147 – CC – Knit Row 148 – CC – p4, k2, p14, k3, p7 Row 149 – MC – Knit Row 150 – MC – k4, p2, k13, p3, k8 Row 151 – CC – Knit Row 152 – CC – p4, k2, p13, k3, p8 Row 153 – MC – Knit Row 154 – MC – k4, p17, k9 Row 155 – CC – Knit Row 156 – CC – p4, k17, p9 Row 157 – MC – Knit Row 158 – MC – k4, p16, k10 Row 159 – CC – Knit Row 160 – CC – p4, k16, p10 Row 161 – MC – Knit Row 162 – MC – k5, p2, k9, p3, k11 Row 163 – CC – Knit Row 164 – CC – p5, k2, p9, k3, p11 Row 165 – MC – Knit Row 166 – MC – k5, p2, k9, p2, k12 Row 167 – CC –Knit Row 168 – CC – p5, k2, p9, k2, p12 Row 169 – MC – Knit Row 170 – MC – k5, p2, k8, p2, k13 Row 171 – CC – Knit Row 172 – CC – p5, k2, p8, k2, p13 Row 173 – MC – Knit Row 174 – MC – k6, p2, k5, p4, k13 Row 175 – CC – Knit Row 176 – CC – p6, k2, p5, k4, p13 Row 177 – MC – Knit Row 178 – MC – k7, p9, k14 Row 179 – CC – Knit Row 180 – CC – p7, k9, p14 Row 181 - MC – Knit Row 182 – MC – k7, p7, k16 Row 183 - CC – Knit Row 184 – CC – p7, k7, p16 Row 185 – MC – Knit Row 186 – MC – k6, p7, k17 Row 187 - CC – Knit Row 188 – CC – p6, k7, p17 Row 189 – MC – Knit Row 190 – MC – k4, p4, k3, p3, k16 Row 191 – CC – Knit Row 192 – CC – p4, k4, p3, k3, p16 Row 193 – MC – Knit Row 194 – MC – k4, p3, k5, p4, k14 Row 195 – CC – Knit Row 196 – CC – p4, k3, p5, k4, p14 Row 197 – MC – Knit Row 198 – MC – k4, p2, k8, p4, k12 Row 199 – CC – Knit Row 200 – CC – p4, k2, p8, k4, p12 Row 201 – MC – Knit Row 202 – MC – k4, p2, k10, p3, k11 Row 203 – CC – Knit Row 204 – CC – p4, k2, p10, k3, p11 Row 205 – MC – Knit Row 206 – MC – k4, p2, k10, p4, k10 Row 207 – CC – Knit Row 208 – CC – p4, k2, p10, k4, p10 Row 209 – MC – Knit Row 210 – MC – k4, p2, k11, p5, k8 Row 211 – CC – Knit Row 212 – CC – p4, k2, p11, k5, p8 Row 213 – MC – Knit Row 214 – MC – k4, p20, k6 Row 215 – CC – Knit Row 216 – CC – p4, k20, p6 Row 217 – MC – Knit Row 218 – MC – k4, p22, k4 Row 219 – CC – Knit Row 220 – CC – p4, k22, p4

Ew.

I think I really, really hate this sock yarn. As a new name for this color scheme (which is deceptively called "Crayons" on knitpicks), I suggest "Circus Tent Upon Which a Clown Has Vomited." The sock has thrown me all out of whack today. I've been thinking about lots of Big Life Decisions lately -- most of which are lousy blog fodder -- and finding out that my exciting, fun, and kicky sock yarn is hideous has pushed me from slightly melancholy into dangerously morose. I'm having a rough enough time of dealing with the end of the Spring quarter and all the complications that go with moving a few states away; it doesn't seem fair that my yarn should morph into mustard yellow and nuclear pink overnight. I just wanted a pair of cute socks. Is that too much to ask?

15 year old me is very happy.

When I was in 10th grade, my Biology class went to a day-long seminar about DNA, the Human Genome Project, telomerase, recombinant DNA, and other cool and topical genetics news. I loved it, and talked about it for months afterwards to anyone who was foolish enough to ask me what I was learning in school. For a brief period (ok, about four years and most of my preceding childhood) I seriously considered studying genetics or otherwise going into SCIENCE. I stopped seriously considering this when I helped my ex-boyfriend get through his organic chemistry class (twice), and I decided that the sciences were not for me. There are still days, though, when life in the lab is more appealing than life in the library. Imagine: getting to see the results of your labor in the form of charts, graphs, numbers, and (if you're lucky) actual organic matter. Oh, to have tangible products of an academic pursuit! But I digress. My point here is that 15-year-old me finds this scarf really freakin' cool: (Yes, it will look much better when it's blocked.)